No God

"Every time I despair and think there is no God, I look at my son cuddled up asleep in his bed. And then I KNOW there is no God."
-Homer Simpson

Daytona 500

"Daytona today! 500 miles. I don't know how those guys do it - I could never drive that far while sober."
-Homer Simpson

Daytona 500

"40 years ago, I stepped on a scale in Florida. That day, the term Daytona 500 was coined."
-Homer Simpson

Kat Von D.

"All I know about basketball is that the better a player is, the more tattoos he can afford. That Kat Von D lady must be awesome!"
-Homer Simpson

Abraham Lincoln

"If Lincoln was alive today he could make a ton of money working as a Lincoln-impersonating robot."
-Homer Simpson

Truck

"It fell off a truck, truck."
-Homer Simpson, cartoon character