Political Correctness

"Political correctness is America's newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control people's language with strict codes and rigid rules. I'm not sure that's the way to fight discrimination. I'm not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech."
-George Carlin

Golf on TV

"Have you ever watched golf on TV?  It's like watching flies fuck."
-George Carlin

Picking Friends and Noses

"You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose"
-George Carlin, comedian